Throughout my entire thirty-seven years of wandering aimlessly on this big, blue marble called Earth, I had never been privileged to attend a live, stand-up comedy performance. Well, a few weeks ago, my ship came in. My wife took me to go see Charlie Murphy at the Ontario Improv as sort of a belated Valentine’s Day present.

Mr. & Mrs. Ford before the event

I was very excited and didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that i didn’t wanna sit in the front row. I’ve seen miles of videotape that showed the comedian on stage ridiculing some dumb-@$$ in the audience, and I was darned if it was gonna be me. I can take a joke, but not a heavy barrage of ‘em. I wanted to come away from this event happy and still respect Mr. Murphy as a person and entertainer. ‘Cuz i knew well-beforehand that if he had jokes to tell at my expense, then I had some, too. And I’m not bad with freestyle funny.

I’m ecstatic to say that I didn’t have to worry about heckling or getting heckled. My wife and I were seated somewhere off to the right of the stage. We weren’t close, but we had a good view of the mike stand. I can’t recall the name of the first guy who came out, but he was funny enough on his own.

The second guy was called Freez Luv, and he was a personal road-homie of Charlie’s. Charlie took him on tour everyhwere he went and Freez was commendable as a warmup act. In fact, I can see his segment progressing and getting refined to the point where he’s headlining his own shows eventually.

Me shaking hands in a manly manner with Charlie Murphy

Not long after, Charlie Murphy himself took the stage. I don’t get too see too many famous folks up close, so it was wild (and weird) to actually see one on the same room. You would figure they would be ten feet tall and larger than life due to their occupation and world-wide celebrity, but Charlie Murphy appeared to be your everyday, average guy. He wore regular clothes, rocked just the tiniest, tasteful requisite hip-hop jewelry, and presented himself as a man who was glad to see you there.

One thing I will say about Mr. Murphy, aside from the fact that he is totally hilarious even during a vulgar scenario, is that he is incredibly humble. I thought he would be all braggadocious and cocky, but he was extremely down-to-earth.

Even after his set was finished, he came out into the lobby to hawk merchandise and sign autographs. He didn’t make it seem at all like he hated this part of the show and he would much rather be spending his down-time counting his money from the proceeds. He was actually quite friendly, approachable, and he addressed each fan as “sir” or “ma’am” or both in some cases. He didn’t mind people taking pictures with him and he never even glanced at his diamond-encrusted watch.

My wife, of course, wanted a picture with Mr. Murphy, which he happily obliged. I wanted one, too, but there are certain unstated rules in the African-American community, particularly when it comes to how a Black man is expected to address a celebrity. We can’t come all star-struck for one thing. We must act like this dude is just some regular guy who we may see next week at the grocery store if he’s lucky. Secondly, we can’t gush. No. No gushing whatsoever. I will admit, that star-fever was about to overtake me and I just wanted to ramble about how much I loved all of his movies and TV appearances, and I was more than capable of naming everything he was even slightly associated with.

I wanna see two pairs of hands, y'all! TJ and Charlie Murphy after his set

Thank goodness I was able to suppress those schoolgirl giddy feelings and came at dude like “Whassup? Tight performance, yo.” I gave him some dap (which my wife caught on film). I really wanted a photo like she had wit’ me and Charlie throwing up a plethora of gang-signs and whatnot, let him know how we get down in Addanac City, cousin. But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this wonderful night with you, Dear Readers. If you ever get the chance to go see a show of any kind (comedy, play, poetry performance), please do so. Live shows are way more fun than recorded TV tripe. The atmosphere and location play an important role. So, take the time and treat yourself (and a loved one) right this weekend!