I read in some scientific jurnal that 45% of all churchgoers fall asleep sometime during each church service. I decided to personally investigate this rumor. After attending church one fine Sunday, I almost had the final results to this question…
…but I fell asleep.
Have a great day, y’all!






Ooooooooohhhhh…..
Well, okay, truth be told I could never pay attention in church as a child. I wasn't anti-religious, I was just a frickin' kid who couldn't pay attention to anything that didn't have fighting or dinosaurs in it!
I was the only kid in my church so you know I was incredibly restless. I was so wired up, that the only time I could relax and wind down was during the sermon. My grandmother would wake me when it was over. I didn't like the day when they cut that all out and made me start paying attention.
Ha, dig the play on words.
Thanks, MJ!
Always remember when you are speaking, "The mind cannot absorb more than the bottom can endure." KISS- Keep It Short Stupid" If you don't strike oil in 20 minutes quit "boring".
I'll have to keep that in mind the next time I'm in front of a crowd. I always get scared that I'm not gonna have enough to say to fill a certain amount of time.
As long as you don't fall asleep
I f i get too longwinded, I imagine my audience will be glad for me to fall asleep.
I want to know what drugs the ministers use. The sermons put everyone else to sleep…
Red.
They must knock back ample amounts of RockStar.
I'm always afraid I am going to get to wanderin' and thinkin' and start borin' everyone. I can usually tell when I'm losin' em though.
Do they start getting fidgety and begin glancing at their watches, or do they pull a total revolt as with me, and begin storming out, car keys in hand?
It varies. If the kids start acting up and the parents take them out looking angry I know it is okay. If they are smiling while they are taking out a crying kid I know I went too long.
That's why you should collect everyone's car keys at the start of your speech.
Hank should have attended a few of the southern Baptist church meetings I attended growing up. Never boring with all the shouting and pew jumping!
I've been to some of those churches myself, Tim. There's no way you're gonna fall asleep during those services.
When a preacher puts a man to sleep it's his job to get loud enough to wake him up.
I had a preacher who would do a combination of shouting and stomping in order to startle anyone who had the audacity to fall asleep.
I've watched lots of folks sleep through church too. If they snore it's funnier though.
Have a terrific day.
I especially like when their heads go back and start to loll around. And when they begin to lean upon the next parishioner? Good times. xD
"More smiting next time, preacher!"
He really needs to carry a long rod, especially if Hank's in the congregation.
I always sleep during church services… mainly because I stay home!
haha…touche
I had to read your comment twice. I thought you called him a douche.
You can tell I'm falling asleep already.
That's the place to catch some church fever: right on your living room sofa.
Hank looks so adorable in his Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes! You should work for a fashion magazine, George! No wait. Don't. We need you right here. :`) So great to see Hank doing what only Hank can do.
I like designing the clothes for my characters. That's one thing I liked about Archie Comics when I was younger. They didn't always necessarily wear the same outfits.
And don't worry, I'm not going anywhere for a loooong time. I've got lots of AC stories and gags to tell.
Hank puts the "Phew!" in the pew!
And the "vice" in "service".
In college, I feel asleep several times during chapel services. It didn't help that I usually sat in the front row with my friends.
At least, in the front row, only the speaker knows that you're asleep. Everyone else thinks you're either watching or praying.
Hank, do like I did – bring a pencil and draw on the back of the church bulletin.
Hahaha! I thought I was the only one who did that. The parishioners think that I'm steadfastly taking notes and writing down hymns, but I'm doodling something awful.
Tellingly, Harvey and Simone don't seem in a rush to contradict their son.
I believe they'd rather be returning home too.
Ha!
Looks like grandpa seconds that motion, er, notion!
Grandpa was probably the one that made yawning contagious in that place.
Well done Hank. Sometimes you just gotta give them a blunt delivery
Sometimes that's the only thing they'll understand. I imagine ol' Father Mackey cut that sermon short that day.
haha I don't blame Hank, church can be pretty boring sometimes!